Today

After 4 years of this and meeting with a dozen women, I should know how to approach this day. Four years ago, our precious Evie was born and returned to heaven a short time later. Many of you sent us cards, emails, flowers, food, donations to Miracle Field and much more. I want to share Evie's story with you.

We found out we were pregnant in May 2006. It was an easy pregnancy. In August we went in for the routine ultrasound. I can still hear the sweet technician tell us that she couldn't find the left side of our baby's heart. I guess she told us it was a girl but thats a blur. We were sent to UAB the next week for meetings with an OB/GYN there and a Pediatric Cardiologist. It was confirmed that Evie's left side was much smaller than the right side and her aorta was about 1/3 the size it should be. She was disagnosed with HypoPlastic Left Heart Syndrome. We read every book, every website and met with every person we could find that had experienced a similar diagnosis. After months of doctors visits, it was decided that we would move back to Birmingham and deliver at UAB. Evie would have the first of three surgeries within a few days of birth. Her final surgery would be at about 2 years old. I quit my job- we were told that Evie didn't need to be around anyone for the first 6 months of her life. I found a wonderful little apartment on UAB campus that is furnished by the Birmingham Baptist Women Assoc. They brought us food and prayed over us almost daily. We moved to Birmingham January 3rd and my due date was January 9th. Mom lived with me during the week and Wes came up on the weekend. The plan was to be there 4-6 weeks after Evie was born. At the time, my cousin was receiving chemo treatments at UAB so Mom & I spent a lot of time with them. Each doctors appointment I was told that I was not progressing with delivery and Evie's heart condition was confirmed. Finally I persuaded my OB there to induce me on Friday, January 19th. I was 10 days past my due date. I was in labor for about 10-12 hours. At one point, Evie's heart rate went crazy and they rushed me in for a c-section. Before the docotor could wash up, everything calmed down. Finally at 8:30 p.m. I delivered Evelyn Ann Miller. She was 7lbs, 13oz and 21 inches long. There were 11 doctors/nurses in the delivery room. I remember them all clapping and yelling. She was beautiful. Wes, Casey and I held her and loved on her very quickly. The nurses rushed her away quickly. This was my first child and I had no idea what was normal. Looking back at pictures, I can see a timeline of Evie's skin becoming more blue the longer she was outside the womb. Our families & the Scoggins come in the room and we are all hugging and excited. About an hour later the Pediatric Cardiologist that we knew so well came in. With the drugs, the stress of the day and seeing a perfect baby on the outside, I had forgotten that anything was wrong. When the doctor came in with a solemn look on his face, it hit me like a ton of bricks. He told us that they ran lots of tests on Evie. They confirmed that she had HLHS. They also discovered that the veins in her lungs had not fully developed. This was not traceable on the 16 ultrasounds they had done because her lungs were not being used in utero. The Pediatric Cardiologist went on to say that he had consulted 4 other doctors before coming to talk to us. With tears streaming down his face, this doctors told us there was nothing they could do.

The nurse came to get me (in a wheelchair) and led Wes and I to the NICU. We had visited this place (thankfully). Then we saw our precious baby hooked up to tubes. The nursees/doctors allowed us to hold Evie again and love her. I was holding her when they turned off all the machines. One of my most vivid memories is leaving the NICU and seeing my sister in-law & brother in the hallway (they had left after she was born and called back to the hospital after the conversation with the doctor). I'll never forget looking at my brother, this 40 year old attorney with 2 kids and he just melted in the hallway. His whole body fell to the floor and he was crying and say "no". Thats the way the rest of us felt.
Dad took care of the body and arrangements. We had a family funeral on Monday and buried Evie in the middle of 8 plots my dad owned. Since this time, Avery Lane Hamiter (died of HLHS 6 months later) and David Mann Owen (stillborn) are buried on either side of her.

I can say with confidence that God has used the last 4 years of my life to work in ways he could not do without Evie's life. I don't know the "whys" of the world. I have a feeling that when I get to heaven, I won't even ask God "why". I'll just be happy to see my perfect Evie.